Healthy Transitions - Building a RAFT

In the book, "Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds" the authors, David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken talk about what is needed for a healthy closure when it comes to saying goodbyes. Think of building a "RAFT" with four poles. 

• Reconciliation
• Affirmation
• Farewells
• Think destination

RECONCILIATION - When moving from one place to another it is important to make relationships right; to deal with any misunderstanding that has not been dealt with.  If a person does not resolve  interpersonal conflicts before moving they bring with themselves "mental baggage" that will weight them down in life.  In reconciliation there is the need to both forgive and be forgiven.  This is the first "pole" in building a good raft and will be a big help in having closure and being free to embrace new friendships and relationships in a new location. 

AFFIRMATION - This is recognizing the people in our lives that have impacted us: teachers and close friends.   It is important to show appreciation and to acknowledge those friendships.  In doing this it helps us celebrate them and also mourn their loss.

FAREWELLS - During the last days and weeks before a major move it is important to say good-bye to special people, places, pets, and possessions that have been apart of our lives.  Being able to take the time to say a proper good-bye is a great help in having closure.

THINK DESTINATION - As a person is saying "good-bye" it is important to be realistic about all the positives and negatives about the move ahead.  Are there people in place that will be there to help during the chaos of a move?

In thinking of having these four "poles" in your raft it will be a big help in making a major move.  Transitions are always a challenge but working through these steps will help things go a little smoother.  (If you want to learn about Third Culture Kids and how you can help them through life, the book mentioned at the beginning of this blog is a GREAT resource.)

Yesterday afternoon I spent some time with some awesome kids who are facing a major move to the US and then overseas.  We talked about the different steps in building a "RAFT".  We tried building a RAFT with four poles.  And then we had fun making some edible rafts.  Please pray for these dear children and the major transitions ahead of them.